Finally stopped

Welcome to Sgt Hitch's Lonely Heart's Club band, playing live in Jaisalmer, Rajasthan. As I left you, we were headed to Jaipur, where Sam would ultimately stay for ten days of intensive mediation. The show must go on, therefore I have gone to Jaisalmer. Rajasthan is a historical nerd's dream. The whole region is filled with forts and the Rajasthani history is tipped slightly less bellicose than say the Mongols. They love weapons and hunting. Jaisalmer is no exception as the town is dominated by a fort in the "desert."- again mostly scrubs and tons of people. You can go out in a traditional desert experience with sand dunes, the main source of tourist income.
Back in urban Jaipur, Sam's experience is totally different: she is not allowed to speak, make eye contact or have any contact with the outside world. For me, that all translates into, how shall I say it, not fun. For Sam, it has long been her idea- her calling- to finally have the techniques to wash away a lot of her past two, stressful years. The main objective of this course is to fundamentally understand how to clear their head and control all impatience- at least that is what I gathered in my own impatience. Sam has burned to do this in India where this type of mediation was established. It brings more credibility to do it from the source. Who could blame her? Currently, she is on day four- not that I am counting- of complete silence. As for me, I am making up for the absence of Sam's voice by talking to everyone and anyone. I have spent three days in Jodhpur and now I have come to Jaisalmer fully intending to relax and spend more than two days.
Traveling with Sam has been great, we have been able to learn more about each other than ever before - unfortunately I don't think she wanted to know about my propensity to have loose hygienic values when traveling. Furthermore, as a result of my experience currently, I have now the ability to understand how hard it is to travel as a woman in India. Before, we have been bamboozled by shop keepers solely interested in selling; which Sam, in most cases, is happy to oblige their offer to "come look, looking is free." However there is a tangible distance created, whether constructed by us or the shop keeper, that keeps us from truly talking or building a trust foundation.
This is not to say I don't get hassled or treat or be treated with indifference. You should have seen when I arrived at Jaisalmer station at the tender hour of 6 a.m. after quite a fitful sleep. As soon as my foot glanced the platform, I was surrounded by touts; a wild mass of arms, legs, fingers enveloping me, my personal space and bag. A barrage of voices slammed into my ears. Touts, enthusiastically, malicious, aggressively shoving their hotel card in my face, promising me everything that I desired. At one point, like a wounded wildebeest struggling against a pride of lions, I kicked- more like whistled, and then put my hands up to signal fellas back the f@#k off for a second and allow me to get my bearings- which consequently would probably have been taken by them as well. This momentarily stunned them and somewhere in the distance a record stopped; it was lasted a precious second as the touts recoiled, then attacked again with more fervor. Eventually, my torso, legs, bags, ego, bearings all arrived- separately of course- to my hotel of choice. Very cheap room in the solitude of the fort itself.
I am fairly confident that the distant relationship between us, Sam and I, with many locals- one point before continuing, I am generalizing mightily, but when traveling for such a short time, one is reduced to forming these opinions as to make sense of it all. - is because Sam is in their presence. Don't get the idea that people don't want to talk to us, we are, both of us, a gregarious lot, but a foreign woman transforms the atmosphere. It is part of the culture for this attitude toward foreigner, especially foreign women. A foreign women is more than just a visual oddity. There is so much misunderstanding of them. Most of the media they receive from foreign countries shows basically sexual smut. This includes our movies. I do not condone their actions of staring and basic eye undressing, but I, as well as Sam, understand the reason behind. We are generalizing the masses here. Also, as James Browne emphatically sung, this is a man's world baby. Everything is male dominated. Therefore any women is a peculiar occurance.
We are also culpable, if not more so, as most times, we exhibit a wariness, if not hostile, attitudes to these proprietors and street sellers.
Moreover, Sam and I were self sufficient in the most part, relying on each other to bounce ideas or air more than a few grievances, but I did make a contentious effort to talk to people.However traveling alone, there has been a significant change. My travels in the last few days have been drowned in cups of Chai and verbosity. While the stench outside is mixture of urine, cow dung and open sewers, the real potent aroma has now come from me- not from the lack of showers- but from the amount of amicable bullshitting that I have done. I have talked, on one more than one occasion, to people for 2 hours straight about: politics- foreign and domestic- Obama, cricket, women, culture, what India will be like in ten years, teaching people Spanish; you name it I have grilled people and they in turn have reciprocated. I now have at least five "Chai dates," with separate groups of people (men, naturally) today and tomorrow. I am right now compiling notes from my conversations about India today and in the future for another blog, but returning to my main theme, I believe there is greater ease with just having just me, a male, around; no sense in formality or uneasiness with Sam around. It is a marked difference I believe. I go inside fully stating that under no pretense of buying and every time I have emerged two hours later, or in Chai terms, 6 cups later, with the promise to visit again tomorrow. I have finally, in some ways, understand why people return year after year. The sanguine disposition of people when conversing with me is so genuine. This understanding would have been stunted with Sam; more because we have relied on each other and because we were so hell bent on traveling to different areas as fast as possible- thereby eliminating any chance of formally establishing any relationship. I have finally slowed down and will be here for six days, and figuratively smelled the rampant cow manure- as the locals have given the smell the moniker- Indian fragrance. It has felt good to have my pressing questions answered as I was a complete ignoramus when it came to anything, past or present, that pertained to India.
Traveling alone has been a wonderful opportunity for me to flex my mouth muscles in only the way I can. It is because Sam is gone that I have had to put myself out there, talking to travelers and locals alike or suffer incredible boredom. For me, this is my mediation, my relaxation. This also represents, truly, the first time I have gone somewhere alone. It is a liberating feeling starting afresh. It parallels my time in Sydney working at the bar. I can tell the same stories or jokes without embarrassing repercussions. Every conversations has inexorably the same motifs or subjects, but are inherently different and that is the exciting part.
I have five more days here and I plan on continuing this trend, throwing in some reading and eating, but in the end, I do miss traveling with Sam.