According to the game plan?

Today is the day for travel. A clear, sunny day here in San Diego symbolizes our feelings to get back on the road again. The road up to this point has not been so smooth and there has been some seriously frazzled nerves on all sides about going to Guatemala. From the beginning, Guatemala has represented the culmination/beginning (if that is all possible) of this odyssey. It is in Guatemala where our itinerary ends on page three of three. We have crossed out Cambodia, India, the States and have that final inked destination squarely in our sights. For these last three weeks, or for those scoring at home, closer to a month, Guatemala has been just that: an inked destination, only tangible within those crumpled sheets of paper. Over the last month, we have answered people's questions, made concerned people feel more at ease that, yes, there is direction to our travels and fought off individuals with stern, taught faces, conspicuously dressed in lab coats holding Sam and my size straight jackets. Guatemala was the perfect conversation starter and finisher: everyone understands that this is an exotic destination and wishes us well, but no one truly knows the country at all; this included the two of us. On the outer shell, we were convinced about Guatemala and demonstrated a certain determined bravado. Deep down however, there was this void that led to a false sense of conviction. We had been so caught up in catching up, enjoying an absolutely incredible wedding and re-charging our batteries that Guatemala remained almost as a myth, a self sustained ignorance, of where we were actually going. To a degree this ignorance propelled our false sense of bravado; we have adamantly adhered to the philosophy that we have no deadlines, no schedule and refuse to install a system and just go with the flow. Yet, we still did not learn from our mistakes from the past. We were under prepared for India and the same goes for Guatemala. We failed to do our due diligence, proper research into the country. Once we sat down and truly researched traveler's experiences from Lonely Planet's throne tree forum, other informational blogs and sites, and both the Australian and US state travel websites Guatemala became more than just a typed word on paper: it became, honestly, scary. The crime and safety section of both governmental websites was a rap sheet longer than Al Capone's record. Worries, anxieties, hide-under-your-bed actions gripped the both of us intensely. Every conversation and thought seemed to circulate around our safety. This is what happens when any country, not just Guatemala, exists as writing and within the depths of imagination. We oscillated between sticking to the "plan" to scrapping it (no, the US or Australia ever entered the conversation of possible alternative destinations, sorry) to spend time in Panama, Costa Rica. However, the beauty of research is that the process of investigation uncovers facts to help draw an informed conclusion (at least one hopes). In our case, after hours of reading websites and books, we deliberated the negatives and positives and came to the conclusion that Guatemala was not to miss. We feel better prepared now by delaying our intial flight to tonight and understand the risks associated with traveling there, but again if we heeded most negative advisories, we would never leave home. Guatemala now has taken a much more ominous characteristic, but the fact remains, it still is just an ink destination that is begging for us to go experience it.
With that said, our language program has eased some of the fears and has been instrumental in solidifying our intentions to go learn Spanish there. We have chosen Ulew Tinimit school in Quetzaltenango or locally known as "Xela"- (Shey-la) and their director is a lovely woman- at least electronically- who has enthusiastically answered all of our questions and growing concerns. Ulew Tinimit was a top for choice going into the language school sweepstakes, but it was immediately tipped to this school by her first email. We had sent out numerous enquiries about the availability of two people enrolling in their respective programs for next week; some have a cap of students per week. We received some emails back, all in English. Our first correspondence with Ulew was an email that was a combination of English, numerical equations and a series of unidentifiable blots, but one thing was certain, it was not English (coincidentally, I believe that is how I write in Spanish right now). This meant to us that they were serious about learning Spanish and that English would be an unwelcome guest during our learning process. We have blocked out a minimum of three weeks, but that could change depending on the situation.
It is funny, most of the traveling writing- including yours truly- I have encountered are obviously geared towards being in the country or looking back at the time spent in the country. However, an area that I feel is neglected in writing is pre-travel or the day-before emotions. This notion can be applied to traveling anywhere: local, national or international. For me, I am not nervous about safety issues- while they do reside in the back of my mind- I am more concerned over the apparent lack of a future game plan. It is all unpredictable. This is the most unnerving or exciting thing about going somewhere, the fear of the unknown. Even going for a weekend to NYC, there are elements that are out of your control: how you will feel on Saturday? (I am venturing hung over if NYC is in the example) Where will you relax? How will events transpire? This has positive and negative connotations, but still are unknown. Even NYC, while familiar can conjure up surpises around every corner.
I was up last night for three hours, in a fitful state of mind. I kept turning over future events, attempting to create situations that I could encounter, or just hashing out practical and inane questions, which swirled above my head: What will I eat? How is our host family going to be? Will I experience a high level of culture shock? Where will I cut my toenails? Do zoo animals know they are zoo animals? No matter where I travel, the night before is always restless. I feel that this is an integral part of my traveling process, much greater than the first week of travel. It always allows me to come to grips with the situation and facilitates in my understanding that these fears, emotions are a natural progression and outcome to a change in scenery. I don't try to answer the questions- of course zoo animals know their predicament, why would they look so bored?- I let them come to me, hover impatiently in my mind then slowly dissipate. If you get caught up, then you will be anxious. I allow all of those fantasies, nightmares, hyperbolic situations to permeate my brain of what Guatemala will be like, because, this instant, that is what Guatemala is to me: a Frankenstein creation, rigid and fantastical, but ultimately looking to enter reality. In time, obviously, my experiences will deconstruct my bolt-necked Guatemala image or, in some cases, strengthen my preconceived notions. As for now, in Hitchian Guatemala, I see internal and external struggles- we are back to insanely frustrating world of transport where going from A to B takes you to point C, then back to A with a brief unschedule stop at 567, then bears right to hit S. After waiting at S for the driver to sip his never ending cup of coffee we limp to B after seven hours.-, small , colorful beautiful people who are going to be why everyone raves about going to Guatemala in the first place.